Saturday Night Thoughts

A mash-up of thoughts on Saturday night.

I close my eyes

Words appear on this page

as if from magic or witchcraft,

but they are neither. It is only my muse

speaking out

loud and strong and clearly

making herself heard. Like a siren, she

draws me into her spell; her on the rock, solid as

diamond, whispering, weaving her words through

my mortality; me flailing about, treading water

unsuccessfully, drowning in visions of

chaos and wonder.  Then I awaken to

books, papers, and abstracts, knowing I’m concrete and

sentient and safe in reality,

until the next time that I close my eyes.

© Catherine Woods 2017

I am not to blame 

You are still here

sleeping in the bed I bought you years ago

watching NetFlix’s movies I play for.

Baking and

pulling weeds:

when will you go? Not that I’m throwing you out,

but I should. I should move

all your things onto the driveway. I should change

the locks. But I can’t.

Maybe I am to blame (a little).

I should have pushed you at 20, at 23, at 25.

I didn’t because I wanted you safe.

I understand now I’ve done you a terrible disservice by

not making you go.

Ok I’m to blame. I’m a terrible mother.

Hanging on when I shouldn’t,

not charging you room and board,

making it much too easy for you to stay.

But no no NO NO NO

I am not to blame,

maybe no one is,

but things have definitely got to change.

© Catherine Woods 2017

Circle 

Leaves,

haphazardly crisp on the city sidewalk,

fortell the fated future

of our lives. Death is inevitable,

change is inevitable,

renewal is inevitable. What today is organic litter

will in six months be fuel for

Spring’s rebirth.

© Catherine Woods 2017

I was born

I was born in Montreal

on a rainy Wednesday. My father was out of town.

I went to 13 elementary schools

in 13 years. My father changed jobs more often

than he took me to Dairy Queen.

I left home to go to university. My father wanted me to become

a doctor; I didn’t. I started

to spill my emotions on the page.

I started to feel like a human being

for the first time in my life.

I was born in Kingston,

alone and afraid and

ready to live

as someone important.

© Catherine Woods 2017